Grateful

Grateful...

It's a word we use so often and contains so much meaning but some days it's downright hard to teach or practice.

The whole life shift process has been a hard one for me.

It's taken it's toll on me and probably my family.  My safe place to lash out, freak out, cry, pout, and do all those things you don't do in public.  I did my very best to keep the wreckage minimal.
All that to say I am grateful for it.

I am grateful I was able to make the choice to make a life shift, most people don't do that or don't get to or even want to.  I knew I needed one and with the support of my family and especially Joel I was able to do it.  It has been a very long process, much longer than I anticipated and has taken me much longer to recover from.  I didn't know it would take such a toll, I was surprised and very upset by it.
I have spent a lot time of time thinking.  Thinking what I am grateful for, what I am sad for, what I am happy for, what I am excited for, what I am scared for.  So much thinking!

But the truth is, it all helped me.  All the ups, downs, sideways and upside downs helped me to get here.  The other side and I can see that I needed it.  I needed to let it all go and appreciate life.

To appreciate my life, the one I am so grateful to have.  The world is a messing, scary, wonderful place and it's our job to make the it amazing.

So I look forward to doing my very best at making it amazing.